Delusion as Teacher
by Kikan Michael Howard
Something that can be hard to understand about Buddhism is that, in the Soto Zen tradition, delusion is not regarded as something bad. Delusion is something that teaches us about our lives, about the universe. For example, Zen Master Dogen says, in Genjokoan:
“To practice and realize the myriad dharmas by conveying the self to them is delusion. That the myriad dharmas advance and practice and realize the self is enlightenment.”
It’s easy to hear that passage as “delusion bad; enlightenment good.” But Katagiri Roshi explains that both aspects are simply part of the process by which we perceive and interact with our day-to-day reality.
Here is a passage about this from Katagiri Roshi’s dharma talk on “Blue Cliff Record Case 46: Ching Ch’ing’s Sound of Raindrops”:
“To practice and realize the myriad dharmas by conveying the self to them”: in other words, if you want to understand the sound of raindrops, first of all you have to convey yourself. I mean, you have to – what would you say – move toward.
If you want to make a poem of a pine tree, you have to move toward the pine tree first, initiatively. And then you can practice and realize what the pine tree is, in nature. Not only the pine tree: as a whole, you have to understand the pine tree in nature. That means you have to move toward that; you should convey yourself, you should carry yourself toward that pine tree. And then, very naturally, you can practice the pine tree and realize the pine tree. And then next, the pine tree comes up to you. In other words, the pine tree tells you what it is, [tells you] about the life of the pine tree which you have never seen before. So very naturally you can move there, and then, the pine tree moves to you. Simultaneously there is spiritual communion there. At that time, you can compose a poem.
Just like a mountaineer. If you climb a mountain, you always climb the mountain, and then finally the mountain tells you what the mountain is, what the beauty of the mountain is. So if you do it constantly, the mountain teaches you about your life, about the life of the mountains, about the trees, birds.
At that time, [Dogen] says, “The myriad dharmas advance and practice and realize the self.” In other words, you are drawn in by the mountains and birds, trees. If you climb the mountain constantly, without stop, day by day, year after year, you are drawn in by the life of mountains. So that is really great experience. That is so-called total picture of enlightenment.
Before this, you have to come back [to] the fact of human feeling, human warmness. You feel pensive when the flower falls. This is alright. [He chuckles slightly.] But an important point is: you cannot ignore the feelings, you cannot ignore the human warmness, whatever kind of emotions. You cannot. So anyway, return to human life again, and then pay attention to it. [That] means don’t be carried away so much, but don’t stay with it, whatever it is.
So all you have to do is, let’s continue [to] practice. What do I mean? Let’s try to move toward [the] destination, so-called buddha. In other words, if you want to compose a poem about nature, you have to move toward nature first, you have to convey yourself to nature. And then nature comes up to you, nature teaches you about your life, about the life of nature. That is called continuous practice; Buddhist practice.
And then this is really big enlightenment. But sometimes, you don’t know. Not sometimes – always you don’t know, how great it is. But when the time comes, conditions arranged, you can experience something. In a moment of time only. That is experience, religious transformation.
Sometimes it’s a big shock, but sometimes it’s very “sneaking in.” You don’t know when, but if you continue to practice, very naturally, that great enlightenment penetrates your life.
This passage points out that feeling is important for us. Another word for this is empathy – which in this case does not mean sympathy, but rather feeling into. Our relationship with the universe – and ourselves – is based on it.
I’d say this is a great example of something that Katagiri Roshi talked about all the time. For the complete talk, and many more, you can visit the Katagiri Transcripts page: https://katagiritranscripts.net/1983-08-24-Blue-Cliff-Record-Case-46-Talk-2.
Kikan Michael Howard (he/him)started practicing at Clouds in Water Zen Center in the late 1990s and was ordained by Sosan in 2018. He is an associate member of the Teacher Ryo at Clouds. Kikan is also an independent app developer, and he transcribes Katagiri Roshi’s dharma talks at the Katagiri Transcripts website, katagiritranscripts.net. His interests include Buddhist psychology, emotional integration, and data visualization. Kikan lives in Northfield, MN with his wife and cats.